This sign is about 2 miles from my house. If you call now you can probably get your order by the end of the week. Hury-call todya.
April 12, 2008
April 4, 2008
Al Qaeda Spokesman on “Onion News Network”
If satire bothers you, don’t even try it.
9/11 Conspiracy Theories ‘Ridiculous,’ Al Qaeda Says
Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays
January 31, 2008
January 29, 2008
10 Worst URLs
I ran across this the other day via a friend. Some people apparently don’t think when reserving their URL. Two good examples:
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com
7. If youâ??re looking for computer software, thereâ??s always
www.ipanywhere.com
Eight of the ten are functioning websites and you can read them all at Sneezl.
November 22, 2007
October 26, 2007
Reincarnated Dictator?
A member of our church is currently on a business trip to South Korea. He snapped this photo while looking for a restaurant to eat dinner. Hmmm….
October 11, 2007
So, Which One Do You Read?
I received this from a friend:
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country, but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country if they could find the time and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country, and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if someone is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The St. Petersburg Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.
September 20, 2007
Five Things God Does Not Know
Courtesy of George G. Hunter.
God does not know:
How many holy orders there are in the Roman Catholic Church.
Who’s running the Southern Baptist Convention.
What the Presbyterians are thinking.
What the Methodists are doing.
What the Pentecostals are saying.
August 10, 2007
Heatwave
It’s just been ridiculously hot in the Atlanta area lately. Dawg daze indeed.
Today’s paper featured a few comments related to the weather, with a couple of my own added.
It was soooo hot that…
all the cows were giving evaporated milk.
the farmers fed the chicken chipped ice so they wouldn’t lay boiled eggs.
my outdoor thermometer was banging on the door to get inside.
I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
hot water comes out of both tap handles.
my fried green tomatoes are still on the vine.
my neighbor climbed into his hot tub to cool off.
I went to a sushi bar and all they had was fried fish.
my thermometer had to go back to college and get another degree.
the Baptists were sprinkling, the Methodists were using a “Handy Wipe,” and the Presbyterians were not even trying.
Got any to add?
August 2, 2007
Put Downs, Olde Style
A friend of mine sent me these this week under the title, “When insults had class.” Enjoy.
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” — Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” — Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” — Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… If you have one.” — George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill…followed by Churchill’s response:
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one.” — Winston Churchill
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” — Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” — Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” — Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” — Paul Keating
“He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” — Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” — Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
Churchill replied, “Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!”
