ie:missional teaching. glocalizing. living. serving. repenting. incarnating. loving. repeating.

June 15, 2009

Pastor, Heal thyself, Part the first: And God rested.

Filed under: Church,Family,God,Gospel,Life,Missional — Tags: , , — Marty Duren @ 9:37 am

Rick Biesiadecki is a good friend. I met him in Georgia prior to his move to Missouri to work at the state Baptist convention. He hinted at a series of posts having to do with pastoral life. This series will be loosely based on the points of this post.

Most pastors know that God rested on the Sabbath and that man was commanded to do the same, yet somehow we find ourselves running, like a hamster on a wheel, going and going and going, but, unlike our coal-eyed, whiskered friends, rarely stopping for water or a nap in the cedar shavings. This post is to encourage you to rest.

God knew what He was doing. Every seven days, there should be one filled with, well, thoughts of Him, attention to Him and not much else. Heck, in God’s economy even the land got an entire year’s rest every seven years! Unfortunately, in our “success by the numbers” society any amount of rest tends to be correlated with laziness. This should not be so.

There are a significant number of pastors who are just as workaholic as other people are alcoholic and both are deadly. Both kill relationships, sensitivity, passion, and ability to function well. Not to mention longevity. I recently visited with man who’s Dad had passed away at an early age. The son spoke of his Dad’s drive and overwork saying, “Marty, my Dad thought the Marines were too slow.” Not good.

So, will little fanfare, here are a few suggestions to help pastors get the rest that they need.

1. Admit to yourself that the continuing existence of neither the kingdom of God nor your church are dependent on you. I know pastors who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, feeling that if a single opportunity for ministry is lost that in some cosmic way God has been let down. This is simply not the case. The kingdom existed before us and will continue in power after our earthly sojourn is over.

While Jesus did affirm that the gates of Hell would never prevail against the church, this was not a promise of the eternality of each local assembly. Even if, perhaps especially if, you are a church planter success does not lie on you alone. A worked-to-death church planter is hardly a benefit for the kingdom or his church. Fatigue, born from fear of failure, has caused many pastors to neglect their homes, fall into sin or suffer physical problems and even death.

Pastor, it does not depend on you. Get some rest.

2. Learn the rhythm of your own body and work from it. Some people are early risers and some people are night owls. A few have their body change in mid-life. Some people need 10 hours sleep, some eight and some only four or five. I’m personally an early riser and need 7-8 hours normally to function on any level close to humanness. But I also know that I have a 2:00 afternoon run down almost each day, nodding at my desk with eyelids at half-mast. Hardly productive, but I’ve learned that no amount of guilt over that mid-afternoon slowdown causes me to have more energy. Sometimes I can do a few rounds of push-ups in the office floor and get a burst of energy, but other times I just need a nap.

My Dad should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for napping. The man can fall asleep and be rattling the windows in no time flat (but it usually follows a hearty lunch). Even when he worked for Ford and could not take a nap at work, it was the first thing he did when he got home. My Dad worked night shift when I was a kid and I remember him taking a shower to get ready for church, going and singing in the choir wearing sunglasses so he could sleep sitting up during the sermon…in the choir loft. I don’t think most people ever knew.

Other than the sleeping in church part (though, admittedly, some of my sermons can have that affect on me, too), I’ve inherited that particular rhythm. I function better if I have a nap several days a week. Sometimes I put the office phone on do not disturb, put my feet up on the desk, set my phone alarm and sleep for 10-20 minutes. On days when I can’t catch a nap in the office I take one when I get home. On the whole, sleep when you need to as much as you need to. If you find yourself needing inordinate amounts of sleep, go to the doctor or check your exercise or diet.

Pastor, get some sleep.

3. Try to orient your office schedule around your body rhythms. This can be difficult sometimes, but is great if you can make it happen. Many times it is a matter of simple communication as to why you don’t keep normal 9:00-5:00 office hours. If you are an early riser and dread the afternoon doldrums sitting behind your desk, then come in at 7:00 and leave at 3:00. Do studying and other individual stuff before the office opens, schedule appointments when you are still alert and return phone calls after lunch.

Don’t have evening meetings unless it is necessary to meet the availability of someone who works 8:00-5:00, but use every possible lunch engagement to avoid having late meetings. Reserve your evenings for yourself and/or your family.

If you are a night person, try to do all of your people interacting during office hours and save your study time until everyone else is asleep. Come to the office at 10:00 and stay until 5:00. Simply try to configure your day, as much as it is within your power, to play to the norms of your bio-rhythm.

Pastor, know thyself.

4. Exercise and eat right. An entire post will address this.

Pastor, put down that fried chicken leg.

5. Work from your strengths and giftedness. Pastors will always have to do things that are “busy work,” since ministry involves interacting with others, but you will drain yourself dry if you are continually being loaded with things that you are areas of weakness. Behavioral experts tell us that we actually are energized when we are living according to our own personality (introverted vs extroverted, for example). When circumstances force us to behave differently than we are wired we can quickly grow frustrated or fatigued.

While life does not afford us the luxury of always being able to dictate this, learn to design your life and ministry from your natural strengths and your spiritual gifts; this is the way that God has designed you to operate, so work with Him on it. I do not have the time to go into all the facets of leadership development that can affect this, but determine to move in a direction so that you begin to intentionally work from how God has created you.

Pastor, be who God created.

While certainly not an exhaustive (sorry) list, these things will help you to live in a more restful state, avoiding the fatigue that leads many to failure.

June 8, 2009

Thoughts regarding fallen pastors

Filed under: Bible,Church,Culture,Devotional,Family,God,Gospel,Idolatry,Leadership,Life,Movies,Sex — Tags: , , — Marty Duren @ 3:02 pm

Saw it again last night: a pastor admits to committing adultery, repentant and broken, but out of the ministry nonetheless. I’m not sure that there is anything that weighs on me like hearing that news. This particular pastor led a dynamic church that has seen 100 people saved in the last three weeks, yet he still succumbed to the same temptation that has torn down the mightiest of warriors.

Having been married for more than twenty-five years and having been in the ministry for twenty (next month), I thought it would be appropriate to review some of the things that I think about when I hear such news. These are in no particular order, but should be considered well when desiring to avoid marital infidelity.

1. Get enough rest. Mental and emotional fatigue are open doors to bad decisions, even sinful ones. Many a man “burns the midnight oil” for the kingdom, or so it is supposed, only to find himself in the hotel room or church broom closet with a woman not his wife having lost the will power to say “no,” or even to think it. Pastors, you are not superhuman and while each of us need differing amounts of rest, listen to your body and rest when you need to do so. You cannot push the envelope of energy continually lest you run the risk of mental or physical adultery.

2. Stay true to the Word. This one should be obvious, but there will never come a time that we do not need the Word. Early in ministry we are afraid to even attempt to live without it, but often in later years coasting becomes the norm. “If I can just make it to retirement,” becomes the mantra for too many pastors who’ve long ago lost passion, but are trying to ride out the wave. Don’t become a hireling! The only way to remain a faithful shepherd is to be guided by the Word every step of the way.

3. Be careful. Don’t allow the thirst for adventure to cause you to become careless in how you relate to women. There will never be a time when flirting becomes acceptable or when lingering looks become godly. Internet filters or tracking software (X3 Watch or Covenant Eyes) may be necessary to keep your mind where it needs to be and out of the gutter. Have the TV removed from your hotel room if necessary or at least disconnected from the cable. When your wife says, “Stay away from [a particular woman],” then stay away from her. Somebody else can take her phone calls and do her counseling or she can go to another church.

4. Love your wife always and make love to her as often as possible. Make sure the passion that brought you to marriage does not get swept away in the busyness of life and ministry. When Paul instructed Timothy that a man who ignored the needs of his family is worse than an unbeliever, are we to believe that he was only talking about groceries?

Continue to pursue your wife as if you are still trying to convince her to marry you. Don’t take the attitude of Ward Cleaver: “What’s the use in chasing the bus after I’ve already caught it?” When your kids are young, get them accustomed to early bed times so that you and your wife can spend time together and when they are old, lock them out of the master bedroom for the same reason. Have date nights and don’t apologize or feel guilty.

Keep sex on the leading edge of your marriage. I think we’d be shocked at how many pastor’s wives go to bed with a book because their husband wants to debate online whether or not sex is “gospel-centered.” I think marital sex is God-given, God-blessed and God-expected. Paul wrote to the Corinthians couples that they should only abstain in times of prayer and fasting “with consent” and then resume their normal activity so that Satan did not find a way to tempt them due to a lack of self-control-a lack of self-control that resulted from a lack of sex. I hardly think that once-a-month passion is what he had in mind. Regular sex with one’s spouse is self-control.

If you are a pastor, teacher or evangelist and you travel so much that you have to reintroduce yourself to your wife and children each time you return home and you have such infrequent sex that you have to get the manual out each time, then you are living in a state of foolishness that borders on outright sin before God. Did you miss the part about being tempted for self-control? It amazes me how many guys would pass up a woman in need (with a broken down car, for example) for afraid of “causing a brother to stumble,” but cause their wives to stumble regularly due to the lack of attention and affection shown by her husband.

5. Live your heart. If you are in the middle of a career of ministry and come to the recognition that your passion is no longer for pastoring a local church, then change. A friend and I were discussing this very thing at lunch today. Guys get wiped out, lose their heart, lose their passion and then, it seems, it is easier to commit adultery than to get out. GET OUT OR GET HELP. One or the other. I’m aware that the Bible says, “The gifts and callings of God are without repentance,” but honestly, does that mean a specific job? I could go today and work at Chili’s and still fulfill my life’s calling.

If you find yourself in the midst of a career-crisis as a pastor and you, deep down, know that you’ve no more to give as a pastor, then plan an exit strategy and start following it. Read Wild at Heart if you haven’t already.

6. Do not let your church (or religious culture) force you into a way of ministry that destroys your ability to minister to yourself and your family. Every pastor is different in structure, personality and function. As soon as you understand how you function best (early morning, late night, mid-morning) you should organize your schedule around it, then communicate it to your church. If you need to be in the office from 6:00 AM until 2:00 PM, then come in early, leave and go fishing or to the gym or whatever. Or go home and help your wife with dinner; or cook dinner so she can go to the gym. Or vacuum the curtains…I understand that is the sexiest thing a husband can do.

If all of your local associational meetings are at night (y’know, when the wife and kids are home and help is needed) then skip them. I see no biblical admonition to attend, but I see multiple biblical admonitions about being a husband and father. As a pastor you are on call 24/7 and often are doing work related to ministry while at home or up early. Don’t feel guilty about calling another pastor and going to the movie after lunch. He needs it and so do you.

7. How about let’s dispense with all the “rock star” talk? John Piper wrote a book called, “Brothers, We are Not Professionals.” Perhaps someone should write one entitled, “Brothers, We are Not Rock-Stars.” Our current star persona promotion of good speakers, exceptional church planters and mega-church pastors borders on idolatry and calling people “rock star” or something similar does not help. In fact, what we have created and continue to promulgate makes mental or moral failure probable if not inevitable. Jesus said, “He that would be the greatest among you must be the servant of all.” When James and John’s mother wanted to know if her sons were going to be rock-stars in the kingdom, Jesus asked about their ability to endure suffering and sacrifice. I’m sure that ticket sales would drop dramatically if torture were the promoted result.

God has called us to one primary calling and that is to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. This can be done from an office or Starbucks, from a house or a boat, from a seminary or an urban center. When we lose that simple focus, rather than following wherever and whenever it leads, then downfall becomes, all too often, the norm.

December 24, 2008

A Christmas Story

Filed under: Family,Humor — Tags: , — Marty Duren @ 5:48 pm

Twenty five years ago tonight was, for much of the US, the coldest night of the 20th century.  Single digits and howling winds, even in the south, made for a night of chill factors not seen before or since.  I remember seeing a picture in the newspaper a couple of days later of a fire up north where the water from the fire trucks froze on the side of the building as it was aflame.  Real cold.

That night is especially memorable for me since it was my last Christmas before getting married the following February.  We spent Christmas at my paternal grandmother’s house with my aunts, uncles and cousins who were all living in Clanton, Alabama.

At the time, my uncle (who owned and sold any number of businesses in the area) was running a small twin theater in the corner of what is now known as a strip mall.  I think it was called the “Clanton Twin Cinemas.” The movie that has since been called, “The It’s a Wonderful Life of an alternate universe,” A Christmas Story, had just been released.  My uncle decided to treat his kids and all the cousins (including me) to a free viewing on Christmas eve.  Unfortunately, the heat was not working in the theater on the coldest day in any of our lives.

So there we were, bundled up as if we were still outside watching at a drive in, laughing our guts out.  When Ralphie finally shot himself in the eye, my cousin’s then boyfriend laughed so hard I thought he’d freeze his tonsils.  It was a great night and I’ve loved the movie ever since.

Any crazy Christmas memories out there?  Have a great Christmas, one and all.

December 5, 2008

Why Alabama fans should not be theologians

Filed under: Family,Humor,Idolatry — Tags: , , , , , — Marty Duren @ 8:26 am

From yesterday’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Sam Atkins’ 11-year-old son Jake has never seen Alabama beat Auburn. His dad grudgingly agreed to take him to this year’s Iron Bowl after skipping the previous two-“we haven’t even been competitive,” he lamented.

That six-game losing streak to the Tigers is a distant memory now as Alabama has re-emerged as a national powerhouse.

“I compare it to being saved,” said Atkins, who played tackle on Bill Curry’s Alabama teams in the late ’80s. “I feel like a major weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” [emphasis mine]

Either this guy’s salvation is woefully inadequate or his college football holds a questionable place in his priority list. Of course this is the issue for most Alabama fans that I know.

Lovingly dedicated to C. B. Scott, Kevin Bussey, Adam Feldman and my sister. [David Phillips added by request.]

November 4, 2008

An election day prayer

Filed under: Culture,Economy,Family,Gospel,Leadership,Life,News,Politics,Prayer — Tags: , , , , , , — Marty Duren @ 6:34 am

Father,

On this important day for American society, I pray that we would not forget you. Your word says that you set up kings and you take down kings, so surely that includes our president, whether it be Barack Obama or John McCain.

Father, I pray that we would not forget your kingdom. In a day when fervent patriotism and divided politics carry most every conversation, help your children to remember that we have been called to a higher allegiance and that what happens in America does not equate to what happens in your kingdom. Forgive those of us in the United States that have convinced ourselves that your eternal plans ride on decisions that we make, forgetting that your kingdom was expanding centuries before 1776 and will continue eternally after the last copy of our constitution has disintegrated.

I ask that you would forgive us for making political preferences a basis for fellowship. If you can break down the walls between Jew and Gentile, can we not imagine that you have done so between Democrats and Republicans? Many of us know people who, if they don’t outright despise people who hold to different politics, find it extremely difficult to carry on conversations that don’t degenerate into political wrangling. May we never forget that Jesus set the pattern for us by choosing among his disciples one zealot, whose goal was to extricate Israel from Roman domination, and one tax collector, whose job was in league with the oppressors. Let us love, love all and love well.

Please forgive us for putting our hope in a political party or a president, when our hope should ever and only be in you.

Father I pray for Barack Obama, a man who seems to have no conscience toward the unborn. In his very stance on the abortion issue he betrays himself as a man not of your word, regardless of his claims of salvation. If elected, I pray that he would humble himself under your mighty hand and that you would use him, turning his heart wherever you will.

Father I pray for John McCain, a man who seems to be running on a platform he doesn’t completely believe. I do not believe that he understands the complexities facing our nation and have no hope that he would pick anyone other than “good old boys” to be around him if elected. He has no plan to stop the slaughter of the innocents. If elected, I pray that he would humble himself under your mighty hand and that you would use him, turning his heart wherever you will.

Father, I pray for the mostly unknown others who are on ballots for president across America. It is my earnest prayer that, beginning in this election and at all levels, we would begin to see the end of the two party dominant system that has polarized this country. Allow third, fourth, fifth party candidates and independents to be elected to force more reasonable and workable solutions to the problems we face.

I pray for the salvation of those who are in congress or who will be going there after this election. Place someone around them with the message of the gospel that they might come to know you and govern with wisdom.

Above all, that we your people might demonstrate the righteousness that we have received from you in every conversation we engage. The kingdoms of this world are fallen and corrupt; help us to promote the one, eternal King and the plan that he has instituted.

I ask this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, your son.

Amen.

August 19, 2008

On the marrying of a daughter

Filed under: Family,Life,Photos — Tags: , , , — Marty Duren @ 8:31 pm

On August the 2nd, 2008, after just under 23 1/2 years of life on this earth, our daughter, Beth, was married to Jacob Lancaster of Toccoa, GA.  I cannot even tell how many people have asked, “Well, how are you doing?”  I am doing fine!

Beth and Jacob did a wonderful job of having a beautiful yet simple wedding.  Not surprisingly, the father of the bride had limited funds requiring a very thoughtful planning process in order to get the most for her money.  Being the frugal gal that she is, Beth was able to stretch her meager funds to a beautiful site for the outside ceremony, an amazing reception featuring a fajita bar and a 4 layer wedding cake composed of a key lime layer, strawberry, butter pound cake and pumpkin spice layers.  Quite amazing.

Those who know Beth and Jacob would not be surprised to note that the only traditional elements of the wedding were a dress, a preacher and walking down an aisle.  Parents and grandparents were seated to Time Has Told Me, by Nick Drake, while the wedding party entered to Sigur Ros’, Hippopolli.  For the first time that I am aware a wedding party had not only bridesmaids, but also a bridesman, Joey Holman, a friend of Beth’s since middle school.  All the bridesmaids wore green dresses with red shoes and Joey wore a green shirt and red Keds. 
The groom and groomsmen wore simple white shirts and ties with gray pants and black Keds.  The newly married husband and wife exited to “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” by R.E.M.

During the ceremony, I reminded Beth and Jacob that they had been held in prayer from about May of 1984, as soon as we learned that we were expecting our first child and the God had prepared them for each other.  Having seen them come together as an answer to prayer, how could I be anything but thrilled for them?  I’m so happy that they have begun their life together and have no regrets.

The wedding was held at the Cornelia (GA) Community House, a charming log and stone building built by the Kiwanis in 1936.  It has a massive fireplace, hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings stone arches and beautiful grounds.  A gorgeous canopy of oak trees shades the front lawn where the chairs were set up.  A moss covered fountain provided a scenic backdrop for the wedding party and many of the photos.

We had prayed for weeks for cool weather which, in a Georgian August, is rather hard to come by.  The weather had been hot and dry all week long and the day of the wedding was no exception.  There was a nice breeze in the morning, but it rose to about 90 degrees with little air movement by the early afternoon.  About 4:30 or so my Dad noticed that clouds were forming to the north and the sky was darkening.  I really didn’t think that it would come south from that area, but soon the skies above us were clouding over as well.  Within minutes, people all over were accessing radar on Blackberries, iPhones and televisions.  It was almost without a doubt:  a major thunderstorm was coming from the west and had high winds, thunder and lightening.  Sometime between 5:00 and 5:30 the first drops fell and in short order there was a huge downpour near to a flash flood.

As we watched through the windows, most folks felt that it would blow over quickly and then the rain would stop and we could start at or near the 6:30 ceremony time.  What nobody wanted to face was the horrible Georgia humidity that follows those summer thunderstorms.  By about 5:45 the storm was gone, some faithful friends dried out all the plastic chairs and we set up the sound equipment.  But how God answered our temperature prayer was pretty amazing.  When the storm was over, the temperature had dropped from 90 degrees to 70 degrees and the sun never came out from behind the clouds to it stayed cool and comfortable with low humidity the rest of the evening.

As an aside, if you are getting ready for marriage and need a photographer, we would highly recommend Shannon Wright from Covington, GA.  Shannon is an amazing photographer, really an artist using photography as a medium.  She took all the photos on this page and can be found at Photography by Shannon.  Her blog is here.

June 29, 2008

Taking a Break

Filed under: Family,Life,Misc — Marty Duren @ 8:04 pm

I know, I know. I don’t really write enough any more to warrant a break, but still…

There are a lot of things going on in life right now and between summer ministry, vacation and getting ready for Beth’s wedding (rescheduled from last Dec to Aug 2) I am not going to try and make the time to blog. What little brain I have left is pretty tired.

Try to keep the weeping and wailing to a dull roar. Peace.

April 27, 2008

Saving Money Through Lifestyle Changes

Filed under: Budgeting,Economy,Family,Finances,Life,News — Tags: , , , , , — Marty Duren @ 9:46 pm

There are lots of ways to save money with minimal effort. This post deals with lifestyle changes that, added together, can cut living costs substantially.

1. Learn to live with heat. During spring time, allow the house to get as hot as you can stand it before turning on the AC, then keep the temp around 77-78. You will acclimate to the temp as it will still feel cool after a hot ride in the car or working in the yard. If you have a two story house, keep the upper story cooler by a degree or two. You’ll be surprised at how this will keep the lower story cool as well.

2. Walk when you can. You may live so far out that you have to go hunting toward town and, if so, then this may not be practical. We live about a mile from a Kroger grocery store and, on occasion, I will walk to the store with a backpack and buy the few things needed. In addition to saving gas, the exercise does not hurt. One day last week my “spare donut tire” went flat at the Kroger. Once home in the afternoon (after getting a lift) I walked to Kroger, removed the tire, carried it to the repair shop about .25 miles away, back to the car and then drove home.

We have a mall near our house that has several out-parcels with various stores. When comparison shopping, I will often park equidistant from Best Buy, Circuit City and H. H. Gregg then walk to all of them. Throw in Target and I’ve saved a lot of starting and stopping as well as cranking and shutting off the engine. (Shopping online cuts down even on the cost of driving to the mall, but one must plan far enough ahead to consider the shipping time. That’s a tough one on me.)

3. Reclaim your water. When you warm up your shower, you lose anywhere from 1/2 to 1 gallon of water-multiply that by everyone in the house and number of daily showers and it adds up to a lot over time. That water can be used on house plants, yard plants or even to refill the toilet tank after a flush (once you work on your speed). A plastic bucket in the shower is a very easy way to accomplish this.

For less than $50 you can purchase a 50 gallon plastic drum and convert it to a rain catcher (attached to a gutter downspout) complete with mounted spigot. It would only be good for outside watering, but it would save you some money on municipal water.

Also, as mentioned in the previous comments thread, skip a shower on your day off…unless you already smell like the goat man.

4. Buy clothes on clearance. Some clothes just never go out of style and those clothes can be gotten for a song at the end of winter and summer. Thursday I got a sweater for $4.00 and a long sleeved, solid color shirt for $3.40 at Kohl’s. Don’t buy faddish clothes on clearance-it’s too late by then.

Some very good deals can also be found on every day wear. I like colored tee’s that can be worn alone or under another shirt. Picked up two Jerzees at Target for $4.99 each. If they fade too badly, they become working around the house shirts that I can keep (literally) for years. I still have a shirt from high school (Riverdale, GA, class of ’81) that I wear to change the oil in the cars, etc. If you have to wear Polo to cut grass, you have some serious issues ;^)

5. Buy clothes that last. No, this is not contradictory to #4. For me, this depends on what I’m buying. Hiking-wear is inherently expensive, so I’m willing to fork over the extra. There is an art to packing a backpack and every ounce counts. Forty-five bucks for quick dry nylon pants is far superior to packing jeans that hold every drop of water for hours. (Although, I did pick up a couple of Columbia nylon shirts for $9.99 each at Target. Similar shirts would have been $14.99-19.99 at REI.)

Shoes are another place that I don’t cut too many costs, though I still look for savings. As one gets older, the feet need special attention so the shoes that I wear a lot I’m willing to spend $90 or $100 to get. For me, those are going to be Montrail, Timberland, The North Face, etc, not patent leather that I will only wear a couple of hours a week. On those I will spend just enough to get by, provided they have good arch support.

6. Don’t allow your kids to become “brand conscious.” You’ll go broke trying to help you kids keep up with Aeropostale, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Hollister’s or whatever else is the rage. Many teens could set their own style if they would follow Napoleon Dynamite to the local thrift store where they could find cool shirts for $2.00 that would run $32.00 for similar ones at the mall.

Shop for kids under middle school at Wal-Mart, Target, Kohl’s, TJ Maxx, etc. Kids don’t stay the same size long enough to justify spending $25.00 or more for a pair of tennis shoes or $40 for some silly sailor outfit.

The same can be true for adults. I am hard pressed to spend $40-50 on Levi’s or Lee jeans when I can get Wrangler or Urban Pipeline for $12-15. They all last the same length of time.

7. Combine errand trips. Taking ten trips to go ten places is just bad stewardship. Keep a list on the refrigerator or the kitchen chalk board for a few days and run errands on one trip rather than five.

8. Call home before coming home. Cell phones are a God send for communicating with home base. Call home when leaving the office to see if anything (milk, bread, last minute dinner ingredient) can be picked up while driving by the story anyway.

9. Work from home or a coffee shop a couple of days a week. During this time of skyrocketing gas prices, churches should understand that the pastor can get as much done at home and should bless him by allowing him to save the money. Concentrate as much office work as you can around two or three day during the week and work from home (prepare sermons, write, make phone calls) the other day or two. Cell phones and the prevalence of the internet at coffee shops and restaurants should make us more mobile, not less. Besides this, working from home means you don’t have to wash, dry and iron another set of clothes.

10. In the summer, avoid using the stove. Grill out or eat sandwiches. The stove not only takes a truck load of power to run, it heats up the house requiring more power to cool it. Buy a griddle for breakfast foods or grilled sandwiches.

After using the stove in the winter leave the door open for a few minutes to allow the remaining heat to warm the kitchen. (If you have small kids or clumsy family members, this may not be practical.)

11. Cut down on household waste (limits trips to the dump or recycling center). Fruit peels, coffee filters and grounds, egg shells and more can be used for compost. A large, thick “bean bag” from Starbucks can be used to store them under the sink until taken to the compost pile or bin. Many Starbucks stores also have used grounds available for customers to use at home in gardening. Those grounds are usually in the silver bags referenced above. (If you do not garden, you probably have a neighbor that would love to have it.) Find out if your local government allows trash burning and create a small fire ring in your back yard, thus saving gas or cost of a trash hauling company. Our county does not allow trash burning, but has set up numerous recycle centers around the county so that conscientious residents can recycle a LOT of household trash and dispose of the rest.

12. Change the filter on your AC/Heat unit according to the schedule. It both keeps the air clean and allow the system to run more efficiently.

13. Gradually change over to fluorescent lighting. Incandescent light bulbs use more energy, don’t last as long and bring more heat into the room. If you use lots of lamps, you’ll have to make sure that the shade attaches in such a way to allow for a non-round bulb. Some of the florescent bulbs, such as n:vision available at Home Depot, are now as small as regular bulbs. That particular brand is warranted to last nine years.

14. Turn the heat down at night. That’s why God created blankets and Grandma makes quilts. Flannel pjs for the kids are fine. Why run the heat at 72 degrees when no one is awake to enjoy it? Turn the thermostat down to 65 or lower and cover up! (Turn it down during the day, too. A shirt and sweater will keep most people warm in a 68 degree house. Besides, it’s good stewardship.)

15. Invest in a freezer. A solid upright freezer can be gotten from moving sales, estate sales or your local appliance company. Make sure it is not too old or the efficiency will simply not allow it to pay for itself. In my next post, I’ll talk about why it is so important.

16. Buy groceries once a month. Get into this habit as quickly as it is possible, perhaps when your tax return or tax rebate arrives. You will not believe how much money you will save with just this one move. (More on this one in the next post).

17. Trade the gas hog for economy. Prices are not coming down so now is the time to trade the Suburban, Expedition or Mammoth Car for a 4 cylinder or hybrid. I’m so thankful for my 30 mpg around town Accord, but we’re really debating what to do about our 18 mpg truck. If it can reasonably be worked out, it’ll be gone.

Coming next: Saving Money Through Winning the Grocery Game

February 25, 2008

In memoriam, Alvin Luther Autrey

Filed under: Devotional,Family,God,Life,Worship — Marty Duren @ 6:45 am

To meet him was to be blessed by him. To be around him was to know that he was more than a man. To hear him was to become convinced that he knew God in a way that others didn’t. To know him was to have your life impacted forever.

My family went to Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Jonesboro, GA in December of 1976, if I’m not mistaken. All these years later, I’m not sure if Al and his family were already attending there but it seems that they were. Either way, it would be a short time before I met this man who would become my mentor and friend.

Though Al wasn’t trained in any Bible college or seminary, he influenced every man who ever served as his pastor and every young man called to preach at the church. I don’t know how long he taught in youth Sunday School, but I know that there have been decades worth of lives he’s influenced as kids listened to his teaching and encouragement and experienced his love during those formative years. I’ll never forget, as a high school aged boy, standing around with some friends one Sunday morning in the lobby of our church building yakking it up about probably nothing. Al walked over, leaned into the circle with hand extended and said, “Hello, men!” After he’d shaken hands and walked away, one of our group looked around and said, “Well, if Al says we’re men, I guess it’s time to grow up.” Another time, after my wife-to-be and I had only been dating for a few months, I was out on church visitation with Al. As part of a far ranging conversation he said, “Bobra (Mrs. Autrey’s name is “Barbara,” but he always pronounced it ‘Bobra’)…Bobra has already prognosticated that you are going to be marrying Sonya.” I don’t recall my verbal response to his statement, but inside I was thrilled; I still am after 24 years.

When I had a crisis of faith that brought me to my knees, there was only one person to whom I could talk and that was Al Autrey.  When we sat together, he wisely did not try to convince be that I was saved, but allowed the Holy Spirit to finish His convicting work unto salvation.

Al was with us on camps, retreats, visitation, at revivals, Bible studies. He never stopped encouraging. Not long after I got to New Bethany, he was able to pull away from his own responsibilities and come to hear me preach a time or two. After one service, when I had preached from Hebrews 11, he said, “That’s the best I’ve ever heard on faith.” Now, I know everyong he had heard because I had heard them, too. I don’t know whether it was really the best he’d heard, but I know it encouraged me for him to say that. “Marty, God’s gonna use you.” “Son, God’s given you wisdom beyond your years.” “There’s no telling what God’s going to do with you.” Over and over again I heard this kind of affirmation from Al.

Al had a brother named “Turtle” who was probably best friend my Dad ever had. More than ten years ago, Turtle was killed in a tragic accident while my parents were on a trip out west. At first we did not even know where or if we might find them, but were finally able to leave a message at a camp where they were staying. When my Dad called me, I began the conversation with, “There’s been an accident…” About 5 years ago, while on a retreat in Florida, I received a call from Sonya that began, “Honey, there’s been an accident…” I didn’t even have to ask “Who?” only “What and how bad?”

At the tender young age of 65 or so, Al was playing kick ball with a bunch of kids on a Wednesday night. For some reason, they were inside the building rather than on a field. In the course of the game, Al lost his balance and fell face first into the corner of a table. The angle and velocity of his fall caused the edge of the table to start at an area around his upper lip and proceed to peel his face almost from his skull. He almost died there from suffocation from the blood that was flowing. Al had several surgical procedures, but the doctors never were able to get things exactly right. One beneficial side effect from all the reconstructive work was that he got the effect of a face lift out of the deal. I always thought that was cheating.

At some point, cancer appeared. Started as prostate and went into remission once. Came back and couldn’t be stopped. As with so many who suffer with it, chemo was not very effective and, while it showed some promise at a time, didn’t bring the healing we all desired. After the blood counts were indicating a lack of progress, Al finally asked the doctor, “Why should I have more treatments?” The doctor replied, “To help you maintain a quality of life.” Al’s response was, “If this is a quality of life, then I don’t want any of it. I’m ready to go be with my Savior.”

After that decision, Al and Barbara had hundreds of visitors to their home. Since they live half-a-mile past the ends of the earth, almost no one drove less than an hour and many drove two or more. The man at the local hardware store stopped by…and cried. Cashiers from the local grocery store came to visit. Former co-workers came to visit. One former youth pastor drove in from Alabama while another flew in from Colorado to spend just a few more hours with this man. His church brought an entire bus load of people.

Alvin Luther “Al” Autrey went to be with Jesus Sunday, February 24 at about 2:30 in the morning. He’s left behind his wonderful family-Barbara, Connie, Resie, Lori and Chad (some with spouses), some grandkids, brothers, a sister, sisters-in-law, his Mom and impacted lives, the number of which only God Himself can count.

Al, I miss you already.  I love you and I’ll see you soon.  Tell Turtle not to drink all the coffee.

October 29, 2007

Education, Kids and The Kingdom

Filed under: Family,Mission,Missional — Marty Duren @ 1:19 pm

So, this whole education thing has been bothering be for a while. It seems that there is a tremendous misplacing of emphasis in the Christian community on the value and prominence of education in life and I’m not talking theological education. There is an appearance that many Christian parents value a good education (both middle and high school as well as college) over their child’s place in the kingdom. Probably this results from the parents concern that their child be able to gain a good employment and a steady means of income so that they do not have to live with the parents for the rest of their days. But, which kingdom holds sway in the end?

It is not uncommon for Christian parents to give their children a choice about participating in kingdom activities, while insisting that the child be in school and attend college. I’ve known many a parent who would restrict a child from a church activity (even student worship) because of poor grades, but never known a single parent who refused their child the Friday night football game because they had neglected their daily devotions. Many parents ask Little Johnny or Little Suzy if they want to go to the church’s youth retreat, but force them to go to band camp. And what is to be made of the parent who assents to the child’s not wanting to go to church, but would never assent to the same excuse made about school on Monday morning? Yes, I’m aware that there is some exaggeration to make a point, but it isn’t much.

Of all the excuses that I have heard, the one that has always just killed me is, “Well, if I force them to go to church now, they will not want to go when they are older.” If there needs to be one single example of the spirit of the age invading the church, this is it.

Scripture is explicit that it is the responsibility of the parents to raise children in the nurture and teaching of the Lord. The Lord informed the children of Israel that He desired “Godly seed.” It has never been God’s plan that Christian parents give their children an option toward Godliness, but that Christian parents lead and train in that respect. There are more than enough temptations abounding in the public school and college arenas through which kids have to negotiate on their own without the weight of inconsistent parents who don’t have a spiritual clue themselves. I’ve long believed that kids, rather than rejecting God and church, are actually rejecting the God and church of their parents, a quasi-religious Christian faith that was only exercised 1 hour of the week, never being witnessed in the home or in any practical sense. (This is not to say that all kids who abandon the faith have unfaithful parents, only that that particular diagnosis seems to be overlooked.) Several years ago I spoke with a high school junior who, up until that point, had been as faithful in attendance as her unfaithful mom would allow. She was really struggling with the the reality of faith, when she looked at me and said, “If what my Mother has is Christianity, then I don’t want it.” Case closed.

When our going-on-23 daughter was fifteen, she informed Sonya and I that she wanted to spend the summer in Canada doing missions. Not with a church trip, mind you, but she wanted to go and be a part of something that anyone was doing that would impact the kingdom. So, at the tender age of 16, she boarded a Northwest Airlines flight alone out of Atlanta to spend 7 weeks in Calgary to participate in Crossover Alberta and whatever else she was requested to do. She did the same thing for 7 or 8 weeks the summer of her 17th year. I’m praying now with out son that he, now 16, will spend some time this summer immersed in a kingdom opportunity somewhere.

It seems that there are too many kingdom opportunities that parents are letting slip through the cracks in relation to their kids. Do we remember that they are not our kids after all? Before our kids were even born, we had offered them to the Lord for His service to do whatever He desired. If He want to place them nationally, internationally or locally that is His business. If He wants them married or single, that is His business. I think that churches may be facing an ongoing situation where parents are so flagrantly living according to the priorities of the world that pastors are assuming too much to think that they have any kingdom knowledge at all.

I have a growing concern that the willingness of Christian parents to consistently prioritize the educational realm unwittingly pushes their children into an environment where philosophical naturalism has the upper hand.  It is as if parents, with the constant push for “good grades” are setting their kids up for spiritual failure, if education is not taught within the total framework of Christian living.  My hope would be that parents would awaken to the fact that kingdom living, not Phi Kappa Beta, is the priority of God’s economy.  That knowing God, not knowing trig, is the bearer of eternal fruit and that the missio dei trumps summa cum laude every time.

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